TOGETHER WITH

Here’s what’s on the agenda today…

Another day, another multibillion-dollar OpenAI chip deal, Jamie Dimon is investing in ‘merica, and someone needs to tell Taylor Swift to chill.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 25 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

PS, loving The Water Coolest? Forward it to someone who is counting down the days to T-Swift’s new Disney+ docuseries. If you CC me ([email protected]), I’ll send you both something.

PPS, did someone with great taste forward this to you? Subscribe here.

Find someone who looks at you like Sam Altman looks at compute…

I’m pretty sure Sam Altman would punch his mom (and his grandma) for a megawatt of compute. Yesterday, the former CEO of Reddit made OpenAI’s relationship with Broadcom $AVGO ( ▲ 0.8% ) official. Spoiler: they’ve been working together for ~18 months.

As part of their deal, which inexplicably doesn’t appear to include any equity, the two companies will plan to bring 10 gigawatts of power AI infrastructure online.

Are bonito fish big? Is 10 gigawatts big?

To put in perspective just how ambitious this is, estimates put the cost of 1 gigawatt of compute at approximately $50B.

But have no fear if you’re sitting on a massive stake in OpenAI. Partnering with Broadcom could save the Sora 2 maker a whole boatload of money. That’s because AVGO is producing custom chips that will allow you to make AI videos of Stephen Hawking dropping into a half pipe or Jesus walking on water at the Olympics.

OpenAI’s custom chips will be built for the company’s exact needs, and, in theory, should save money on data center build outs.

WTF could it mean for us?

Instead of making vague generalizations about what this means like all those lame stream newsletters out there, let’s predict the exact stories and headlines we can expect next, shall we? Welcome to a section my attorney has asked me to call, Definitely Not Financial Advice…

Listen, at some point (despite Softbank’s best efforts), OpenAI is going to run out of AI chipmakers to partner with…

🔮 The Water Coolest on November 17, 2025: Desperate times call for desperate measures. OpenAI announced it’s taking a “sizable” stake in Intel and will be one of the chipmaker’s first fab clients… because Sammy Altman won’t stop til he owns the means of production. OpenAI joins Nvidia and Uncle Sam as investors in Intel. Shares of Intel rose nearly 8% on the news.

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+ The biggest bank in the US is planning to take direct stakes in companies in the defense sector... and what could possibly go wrong?

For a guy who doesn't want to be President, Jamie Dimon sure is doing a lot of things that a President would do.

Jamie Dimon said get back to the office, you ungrateful pieces of scum JPMorgan $JPM ( ▼ 2.34% ) plans to invest $10B over the next decade in industries it considers crucial to US interests. Stuff like “defense and aerospace, ‘frontier’ technologies including AI and quantum computing, energy technology including batteries, and supply chain and advanced manufacturing.”

The investments will include financing (so, literally, the reason banks exist) and taking direct financial stakes in companies. Carpet bombings powered by Chase for Business has a nice ring to it…

+ How much did they pay McKinsey for this?

+ Things you don’t want to see from a company that owes you money: their new CEO is a “25-year turnaround veteran who helped with the financial restructuring of the City of Detroit.”

First Brands CEO and founder Patrick James stepped down on Monday. And can you blame him? The autopart giant/house of cards collapsed into bankruptcy, leaving its Wall Street lenders holding the $10B bag. Woof.

+ “Wait, didn’t this already happen?” - all the non-Swiftie mouth breathers out there

Don’t you dare mix up the “Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour” exclusive AMC film with “Taylor Swift/ The Eras Tour/ The End of an Era” docuseries/concert film. T-Swift announced a new 6-part docuseries coming to Disney+ in December. Obviously, shares of Disney $DIS ( ▼ 1.64% ) popped on news that Swifties would be flocking to the company’s streaming app.

+ “Previous experience pissing in bottles is a plus.” - Amazon’s job description

The good news is Amazon $AMZN ( ▼ 0.51% ) is hiring 250k new employees for the holiday season for the third year in a row. The bad news is that their every move will almost certainly be tracked and used to train Amazon AI fulfillment bots that never bring up things like unions or a safe working environment.

+ US stocks “jumped Monday in a broad rebound, bouncing back from Friday's rout after President Trump played down the escalating US trade standoff with China and said it "will all be fine!"” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ Oil “rose on Monday after assurances that U.S. President Donald Trump will meet his Chinese counterpart Xi Jinping later in October, easing a flare-up in trade tensions between the world’s top two economies that had pushed crude benchmarks to five-month lows on Friday.” (Reuters)

+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s a 26% chance Donald Trump is the most Googled person of the year. (Kalshi)

⏪ Yesterday…

+ Fastenal reported before the bell

+ The four-day Cloudflare Connect conference began

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ JPMorgan, Johnson & Johnson, Goldman Sachs, BlackRock, Citigroup, Wells Fargo, and Domino's report before the bell

+ J-Poww will deliver a speech in Philadelphia at the National Association for Business Economics Annual Meeting

+ General Mills will hold an Investor Day event

+ The three-day Salesforce Dreamforce 2025 event will begin in SF

Yesterday, I asked, “You either get $100k cash payment or your pet lives as long as you do. What you taking?”

59.1% of you said “Pet lives a full human life.“

Here’s what some of you guys had to say…

Here’s today’s question…

You get $425k (upfront) if you agree to only eat with a spoon for the rest of your life. Yes, you can use your hands, just no fork, knife, spork, or other utensil. If you ever use anything else, you need to immediately pay the money back. Oh, and you can’t tell anyone why you’re only eating with a spoon.

Oh, and one more thing…

Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.