Here’s what’s on the agenda today…

The trade war is heating up again, Jamie Dimon needs to be stopped, and Apple is “buying” a company.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 27 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

PS, loving The Water Coolest? Forward it to someone who wouldn’t last a minute on the front lines of the trade war. If you CC me ([email protected]), I’ll send you both something.

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Ron Burgundy: “I mean, that really got out of hand fast.”

Champ Kind: “It jumped up a notch.”

Ron Burgundy: “It did, didn't it?”

The trade war just got hot again. It all (re)started when China came off the top rope on Thursday.

Beijing decided it will force foreign entities to get a license to export rare earth metals or literally anything that contains rare earth metals. Spoiler: China controls 70% of the supply of these materials that are critical for everything from EVs to iPhones.

To the surprise of literally no one, POTUS clapped back. And he went hard in the paint. On Friday, the President threatened to slap an additional 100% tariff on China and said, “I was to meet President Xi in two weeks, at APEC, in South Korea, but now there seems to be no reason to do so.”

Friday’s selloff was of the “yuge” variety. Immediately after Donny Politics called China “hostile,” shares plummeted. The S&P 500 closed down 2.7%, marking its worst day since the immediate aftermath of Liberation Day back in April.

Now what?

And if China’s reaction to the tariff threats is any indication, things are about to get worse before they get better. On Sunday, China said “we are not afraid of” a trade war and accused the US of a “textbook double standard.”

Later on in the day, POTUS seemed to change his tune… so perhaps all is well?

WTF could it mean for us?

F*ck it, let’s predict the headlines we could be talking about in future TWCs, shall we? Go ahead, name a newsletter that’s out here predicting the godd*mn future…

🔮 October 14, 2025 (that’s tomorrow’s newsletter, you guys): Call your loved ones. There was blood in the street on Monday after POTUS’s Truth Social post, threatening to hit China where it hurts most: semiconductors. The US President is putting the ‘tit’ in ‘tit-for-tat’, threatening chip sanctions that could cut off China (again).

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+ Not all heroes wear capes…

The Labor Department is bringing back some Bureau of Labor Statistics employees to resume work on the September CPI report. You might recall that the Labor Department is currently furloughed thanks to the ongoing government shutdown. The September inflation report will drop at 8:30 AM ET on October 24.

+ You mean to tell me that a user named “dirtycup” on Polymarket isn’t a straight shooter?

Norwegian officials are investigating some unusual bets predictions on Polymarket related to the winner of the Nobel Peace Prize. Predictions that Maria Corina Machado would win the award spiked… just hours before she actually did.

Brand new Polymarket user dirtycup wagered around $70k on Machado. And someone needs to check if the account is tied to an IP address linked to DraftKings management…

+ The only thing worse than the University of Michigan football team is the University’s monthly consumer sentiment survey.

The US consumer’s outlook is bleak, you guys. The U of M survey showed that the five-year outlook for household finances is at its lowest in more than a decade.

+ We don’t deserve Jensen Huang…

+ What in the 1984 is this sh*t?

JPMorgan’s $JPM ( ▼ 1.52% ) employees working in the House that Jamie Built (read: the bank’s new $3B HQ in Manhattan) will need to use biometric scans (retinas or fingerprints) to enter the building.

+ Regulators: “bIG tEcH BuYInG STarTUps iS BaD bEcaUse iT hUrTs CoMpeTiTioN”

Big tech: “Ok, we’ll just steal the best talent and let the companies die…”

Apple $AAPL ( ▼ 3.45% ) is the latest tech company to hire all the top talent from an AI company, leaving all the other employers and investors to go f*ck themselves. Tim Apple will gut the C-Suite at computer vision startup Prompt AI.

Investors were told they won’t get all their money back, and the remaining employees will have their salaries reduced and be encouraged to apply to new jobs. So, they’ve got that going for them…

+ US stocks “settled decidedly lower after a rapid decline on Friday following President Donald Trump’s threat of higher tariffs on China, in which he accused the country of “becoming very hostile” with its restrictions on rare earth metals, a key resource for the tech and defense industries.” (CNBC)

+ The 10-year yield was “lower on Friday as investors ran for safety following a threat from President Donald Trump on higher tariffs targeting Chinese goods.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “fell more than $2 a barrel, or more than 3%, on Friday as U.S. President Donald Trump’s threat to impose increased tariffs on China cast a shadow over the demand outlook in a market seen as oversupplied.” (Reuters)

+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s a 6% chance Bitcoin will drop below $70k before the end of the year. (Kalshi)

⏪ On Friday…

+ Electronic Arts' Battlefield 6 launched. Imagine if it sucks… the Saudi Public Investment Fund will “eliminate” half of HQ

+ The University of Michigan consumer sentiment survey for October dropped

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ Fastenal reports before the bell

+ The four-day Cloudflare Connect conference will begin

On Friday, I asked, “Is $5M a nightmare?”

88.3% of you said “No.“

Here’s what some of you guys had to say…

Here’s today’s question…

It’s my dog’s birthday (or, at least the one we made up). Got me thinking…

Oh, and one more thing…

Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.