Hey there weekday warrior. Here’s what’s on tap today… Oracle just blue (not an error) it, Zuck may be singlehandedly responsible for Llama sucking (and he needs to work on his takedown defense), and the Warner Bros. board laughs off David Ellison’s micro-offer.
Enjoy the next 3 minutes and 20 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
Blue balls
Trying this headline in modern X fintech language: “Fart drops because poo pulls back investment in sh*t.”
Blue Owl Capital $OWL ( ▼ 0.32% ) just pulled out, leaving Oracle $ORCL ( ▲ 4.95% ) with a bad case of blue balls.
Larry Ellison confirmed Wednesday that longtime AI infrastructure partner Blue Owl won’t be involved with its massive planned Michigan data center project.
Shares tumbled over 5% as investors began to reconsider all the AI promises Oracle had made.
“Wait, you guys are still doing data centers on Earth?” - Elon & Jeff Bezos, probably
Per a report from FT, Blue Waffle Owl looked into funding the planned 1-gigawatt facility but didn’t like the look of the debt terms/repayments. Cassandra Unchained claims another sub.
Meanwhile, Oracle fired back at the FT hit piece. They claim the datacenter project is still moving forward, and that Bonnie Blue Owl wasn’t on the list of preferred equity partners.
Per a Related Digital (think: equity broker) spokesperson: “The notion that Blue Owl walked away is unequivocally false. This is an exceptional project that drew significant interest from equity partners.”
Bah gawd, that’s Blackstone’s music…
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I’ve been writing The Water Coolest for 8 years, including a 2-year stint at Barstool Sports. And today I consult for some of your (other) favorite newsletters. Mostly helping them create must-read content.
So now feels like the right time to finally pull together all of my thoughts about creating killer newsletter content and building an audience the right way.
Later this month, I’m launching the Chief Newsletter Officer newsletter.
Every Thursday, I’ll send an email to current and aspiring newsletter operators and brands with tactics and takeaways from nearly a decade in the newsletter trenches. No filter, just like TWC.
Join for free today and start sending must-read content tomorrow.
+ Zuck gon’ give it to ya (and by ‘it’ I mean advice on how to do the job he hired you to do)…
Someone bout to catch these hands. AI starboy Alexandr Wang (not the one Yeezy mentioned) is out here whining. Wang says that Zuck’s micromanagement of Meta’s $META ( ▲ 1.08% ) AI efforts is stifling progress. And it was the reason Llama 4 sucked so bad. Doesn’t he know you’re supposed to say this stuff behind your boss’s back at happy hour?
Friendly reminder that Meta paid $14B to acquire a 49% stake in 28-year-old Wang’s startup Scale AI, then put him in the driver’s seat of their new flagship AI model “Avocado.”
Gen Z entitlement, amirite?
+ Me cycling between “IPOs are so done” and “IPOs are so back” daily…
Medical supplier Medline $MDLN ( ▼ 1.77% ) opened on the Nasdaq yesterday with the biggest IPO of the year. Shares jumped more than 22%, raising $6.26B and valuing the company at over $50B. That also makes it the biggest IPO since Rivian in 2021…
But what does Medline actually do? Distribute medical and surgical supplies, apparently. They surely aren’t a beneficiary of the fundamentally broken healthcare system in the US, right?
Databricks would never…
As expected, the Warner Bros. $WBD ( ▲ 2.0% ) board has officially and unanimously recommended that its shareholders reject Paramount’s $PSKY ( ▼ 1.71% ) bid. Now the bid for $30-per-share will go to the shareholders for a decision in Spring/Summer 2026.
Per WB Chair Samuel Di Piazza, “We are confident that our merger with Netflix represents superior, more certain value for our shareholders and we look forward to delivering on the compelling benefits of our combination.”
“So you’re telling me there’s a chance?” - David Ellison, probably
> Elon Musk’s net worth hits staggering $648B, making him more than twice as wealthy as runner-up (NY Post) // Meanwhile, chicks be like… “yeah, but is he over 6 feet tall?”
> Coursera and Udemy enter a merger agreement valued at around $2.5B (TechCrunch) // The FTC, DOJ, and probably the EU, have entered the chat...
> The Oscars are heading to YouTube in 2029 (CNBC) // “Keep ABC’s name out your f*cking mouth.”
> Looks like Warner Bros. Discovery is a fan of the Pirate Ship…
> And in the least surprising news of the day…
+ US stocks “declined on Wednesday as investors continued to rotate out of key artificial intelligence names, sparked by a report that Oracle’s primary investor pulled out of one of its data center projects.” (CNBC)
+ The 10-year yield “was near the flatline on Wednesday as investors mulled over the latest economic data and awaited the release of an inflation report due later in the week.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “rallied by more than 1% on Wednesday after U.S. President Donald Trump ordered a blockade of all oil tankers under sanctions entering and leaving Venezuela, raising global political tensions and easing concerns about a swelling surplus of global crude.” (Reuters)
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s a 47% chance that Elon becomes a trillionaire before 2027. (Polymarket)
⏪ Yesterday…
+ General Mills and Jabil Circuit reported before the open
+ Micron Tech reported after the close
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Accenture, Cintas, and Darden Restaurants drop earnings before the bell
+ Nike, FedEx, Nano Nuclear Energy, and Heico report after the bell
+ The European Central Bank will release its policy statement
+ The Consumer Price Index report for November drops
Yesterday, I asked, “Which is the worst financial invention of all time?”
39.8% of you said, “NFTs.”
Here’s what some of you guys had to say…
NFTs: “Welp...you have a smart audience as I had NFT's @ #1 and Subprime mortgages @ #2...now I need a triple whiskey thinking about both!”
Synthetic CDOs: “The rest of these have plausible utility excepting NFTs. NFTs were always visibly meant to part fools from their money; Synthetic CDOs are just a pretentious step above that.”
NFTs: “How many concerned apes did you buy Tyler?”
Subprime mortgages: “I don't remember any of the other choices listed in the poll causing a full-blown national (if not global) financial crisis.”
Here’s today’s question…
Which boss archetype is the absolute worst to work for?
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.