TOGETHER WITH
Hey there weekday warrior,
Go call your loved ones.
Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 17 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
Blood in the Street
CNBC’s "Markets in Turmoil" graphic was putting in overtime. And CNN brass was contemplating if the Fear & Greed index could go below ‘Extreme Fear’…
Recession fears set off the type of panic DeepSeek would be proud of. Unsurprisingly, the kinda stocks that only go up (see Mag 7) took an absolute beating on Monday. The Nasdaq was down more than 4%. The S&P 500 fell 2.7%. And the Dow Jones Industrial Average fell 900 points… because at some point we collectively decided as a society to not give the Dow the % treatment…
Tesla was by far the biggest loser. And it wasn't really close. Shares cratered more than 15% and nobody is having a better day than your aunt, who calls Elon the "First Buddy" in Facebook posts.
That's the worst day in 5 years for TSLA (or as Cathie Wood calls it… a great entry point). And the carmaker has now lost more than half of its market cap since December 17th. Even Ashley St. Clair probably feels bad for Elon at this point...
So what went wrong?
The "R word" is getting thrown around like methamphetamines at an FTX offsite circa 2021. And you're not going to believe who started the rumors...
Donny Politics himself hinted at an economic slowdown over the weekend, saying “Look, we’re going to have disruption, but we’re OK with that" when asked directly about a recession. It probably didn't help that he added, "What I have to do is build a strong country. You can’t really watch the stock market.”
And he's got the data to back it up. Friday's jobs data showed the labor market is slowing. Meanwhile, there are concerns that US tariffs could usher in more inflation and slow growth. Perhaps you’ve heard? Oh, and early indicators from the Atlanta Fed actually show GDP growth turning negative in Q1. Woof.
Spin zone
Meanwhile, the hardest working cabinet in America was going full spin zone after Trump's weekend of dropping truth bombs…
Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick said on Sunday, “There’s going to be no recession in America. ... If Donald Trump is bringing growth to America, I would never bet on recession, no chance.” And Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent called this a "detox period"... which makes the economic downturn sound more like a colon cleanse.
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+ “But where will I be able to buy both Plan B and Takis now?” - absolutely no one
CVS $CVS ( ▲ 2.43% ) is building stores for ants. The pharmacy chain will be opening mini, pharmacy-only stores in an attempt to stay alive narrow down to core competencies. The receipts will presumably still be a rainforest’s worst nightmare.
Walgreens-minus-cigs is opening a handful (read: 12) locations that are under 5k square feet, with a full-service pharmacy and limited OTC products. “He can’t keep getting away with it!” - every mom-and-pop pharmacy that was doing exactly this when CVS moved to town.
With Walgreens $WBA ( ▲ 0.21% ) going full PE (ICYMI: sold to Sycamore Partners for $24B) and Rite Aid fresh off a bankruptcy escape, CVS is scrambling to cut costs and stay relevant.
+ Rocket $RKT ( ▼ 3.29% ) just made an honest woman out of Redfin $RDFN ( ▼ 0.36% ) via a $1.7B all-stock deal that values RDFN at $12.50/share. The merger is expected to close this year and will create a one-stop home-buying shop (think: mortgages, agents, title, escrow, etc.).
And no one was more butthurt than Zillow $Z ( ▼ 0.55% ), which has been trying to become the Carvana of home sales for years.
Zillow and Redfin plan to stay together for the kids, though. Their $100M deal to make Zillow the exclusive provider of Redfin’s multifamily rental listings announced back in February is still on. If Z liked it, they shoulda put a ring on it (no, your long-time girlfriend did not pay me to write that).
+ Define ‘key person risk’. Dustin Moskovitz (yes, the guy who co-founded Facebook) is retiring from his current company Asana $ASAN ( ▲ 2.46% ). And shares fell more than 28% on the news.
+ X was (literally) down bad on Monday with 40k users reporting outages. Elon blamed a “massive cyberattack” for the crash that had people panicking. Go touch some grass.
+ Today in deadlines that everyone forgot about… Donny Politics said there are 4 suitors vying for TikTok’s (really ByteDance’s) attention. So, most likely Team Frank McCourt, Perplexity AI, Mr. Beast, and Larry Ellison. Friendly reminder that a US buyer only has until April 4 to seal the deal.
+ Alphabet $GOOGL ( ▼ 0.41% ) shareholders ate sh*t Monday after the DOJ confirmed that it’s looking to force Google to sell off its Chrome browser and potentially its Android OS.
+ Turn off Bluey and let the kids watch some real educational TV… Amazon $AMZN ( ▼ 0.15% ) Prime Video is now streaming “The Apprentice”.
🔥College hopefuls have a new ultimate dream school — and it’s not Harvard. Hustler’s University.
FYI, TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. So, what are you waiting for? Start clicking.
+ US stocks “dropped as the selling pressures that dragged Wall Street last week persisted, while investors braced for a slew of economic data reports this week.” (CNBC)
+ The 10-year yield “dropped on Monday with investors seeking safety as fears of an economic slowdown grew.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “prices were down 1% on Monday on fears that U.S. tariffs on Canada, Mexico and China would slow economies around the world and slash energy demand while OPEC+ ramps up its supply.” (Reuters)
+ Bitcoin “slumped Monday, extending a recent run of losses on souring risk sentiment as recession fears growth just as U.S. President Donald Trump’s forming of a strategic reserve and hosting of a White House crypto summit failed to stoke optimism.“ (Investing.com)
+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Visa -1.1% 2) Nvidia -5.0% 3) Hims & Hers Health -4.1%
⏪ Yesterday…
+ BioNtech reported before the bell
+ Oracle and Asana reported after the bell
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Dick’s Sporting Goods, Kohl’s, and Ciena drop earnings this AM
+ Casey’s reports after hours
+ Albertsons will replace Aspen Technology in the S&P MidCap 400 Index. Congrats… I think?
Yesterday, I asked, “What's the minimum you're sending a Venmo request for?”
$25 won with 31.1% of the vote.
Here’s what some of you guys had to say…
Any amount: “I shouldn’t have to request it, but if they haven’t paid me in a timely manner then the amount is irrelevant, they’re getting the request”
$1: “A buck's a buck”
$5: “Anything less than $5 is a hassle. ”
$10: “My time is worth at least 10 bucks”
$25: “Don’t be a cheap f*ck. Let’s normalize ‘I got this one’”
$50: “If you’re venmoing for $10, you better have less than $100 in your bank account ”
$100: “If you are an adult on a steady income Venmo requesting your friends you better have put the entire dinner on your tab and getting a rough estimate on the split between everyone. ”
And here’s today’s question…
Haven’t hit you with a hypothetical in a minute…
Everyone on Earth gets to anonymously gift $10,000 to one other person on Earth (no strings attached). How much do you think you end up with?
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.