Hey there weekday warriors,
A huge deal is brewing in the world of big convenience.
Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 27 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
+ US stocks “closed at session highs on Monday after posting their best week in a year as the markets continued to rally in a sharp turnaround from their early August sell-off.” (Yahoo! Finance)
+ The 10-year Treasury yield was “little changed on Monday, with the release of Federal Reserve meeting minutes and the closely watched central bank symposium at Jackson Hole on the agenda this week.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “fell by more than $2 a barrel Monday on the prospect of successful Middle Eastern peace talks reducing supply risks, while leading oil importer China's economic weakness threatened to curb demand.” (Reuters)
+ Bitcoin’s struggles continue.
+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Nvidia +4.3% 2) Rocket Lab +9.6% 3) AST SpaceMobile -1.0%
The market moves you need to know about…
+ That mpox is so hot right now. Mpox vaccine makers aren’t the only ones benefiting from the spread of the disease. M*nkeypox test makers, Virax Biolabs and Applied DNA Sciences mooned 141.7% and 128.6%, respectively yesterday.
– Annnddd it’s gone. Remember how Nikola reported better-than-expected results last week? Welp, it just erased those gainz after announcing it planned to sell shares to raise capital. NKLA closed down 9.4%.
+ Thank you for your service, Joe Rogan. Shares of Traeger jumped 9.5%… on no real news. Perhaps it has something to do with Traeger securing an all-time ticker symbol (see: COOK)?
🤝 Want to get your product or service in front of more than 100k rich, good-looking, and intelligent newsletter subscribers? We’re booking ads for Q4 right f*cking now.
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Bigger Gulp
Source: Giphy
This might be the most un-American act since ISIS was founded a Belgian company bought Budweiser…
We’ve got a Canadian company looking to acquire the Japanese owner of arguably the most American thing besides type two diabetes: 7-Eleven.
Quick history lesson…
What started as an ice house in Texas in 1927 has actually been majority-owned by a Japanese holding company since the early 90s.
The home of the Big Gulp and taquitos is currently owned by Seven & i, which operates more than 80k stores across the world, including 7-Eleven (duh) and Speedway, which it bought in 2021.
Fast-forward to today…
Canada’s Alimentation Couche-Tard (“Couche-Tard” sounds like something French people would call the casting couch…) has officially submitted an offer to buy Seven & i.
Neither company shared details of the deal, but Seven & i’s market cap soared to more than $38B on the day. If it does get across the finish line, the acquisition would be the biggest cross-border deal ever.
This isn’t Couche-Tard’s first rodeo, though. It tried to buy 7-Eleven’s owner back in 2020. I get it, the sweet aroma of roller dogs is hard to resist…
Even if the two can agree on a price, there will be all sorts of red tape to cut through. Not just antitrust concerns, either. Japanese companies are notoriously difficult to acquire (… not unlike their unconditional surrender in 1945).
+ It’s hard to say who was happier to hear that Carl Icahn had to write a check to the SEC…
Bill Ackman (Carl's mortal enemy) and Nate Anderson (the short seller who called bullsh*t on Icahn’s operations) are probably both dancing on his grave right now…
You might recall last year that Hindenburg Research called Icahn’s Icahn Enterprises (IEP) (+1.2%) a “Ponzi-like structure” and made a handful of other allegations. Well, the Shortseller Enrichment Commission agreed with Hindenburg on at least some of the accusations…
The commission fined Icahn and IEP $2M for failing to disclose billions of dollars in margin loans. The problem? Icahn posted billions of dollars worth of his Icahn Enterprises stake as collateral.
Given that Carl pledged nearly 80% of IEP’s outstanding shares and is worth like $6B, it really feels like the $2M fine falls into the ‘slap on the wrist’ category.
+ When your parents give you the name Fabrizio, there are really only two paths for you in life: run a little café in Italy frequented by locals who say things like ‘ciao bella’ to all the women passing by or be the CEO of a multinational beauty and skincare company…
Fabrizio Freda announced on Monday that he’ll be stepping down as CEO of Estée Lauder (-2.2%) after 16 years in charge. No word on who will replace him… but it’ll probably be someone who could have just as easily owned a gelato cart in Milan.
Why the change?
Well, it probably has something to do with shares being down 75% over the past two years. Tumbling beauty sales in China have hit Estée Lauder particularly hard.
And the cherry on top? Announcing during the same earnings call that the company expects a pretty lackluster top and bottom line this year, too.
Oh, and…
+ Edgar Bronfman Submits $4.3 Billion Bid for Redstone’s National Amusements, Paramount Stake. And here we go. (This broke pretty late on the East Coast. More to come.)
+ GM lays off more than 1,000 salaried software and services employees. Tell me you’re about to announce ‘a major AI initiative’ without telling me…
+ Trump Media shares sink to post-merger low as DJT slump continues. Bruh, Truth Social made $837k last quarter.
+ Gold Bars Are Worth a Million Dollars for the First Time. Everyone call and congratulate your grandparents.
+ British tech entrepreneur Mike Lynch reported missing after super yacht sinks off Sicily. Internal monologue: “Don’t make a Wolf of Wall Street reference. Don’t make a Wolf of Wall Street reference. Don’t make a Wolf of Wall Street reference…”
+ What TikTok ‘underconsumption core’ trend means for your money: It’s ‘romanticizing being middle class,’ content creator says. Stop being poor.
+ Amazon Can’t Stop Shoppers from Using These 5 Hacks. Imagine paying full price.
+ Most households can weather a $400 financial shock, research finds — but some have to get creative. And by ‘creative’ they mean turning tricks under a bridge…
+ WebStreet buys and operates cash-flowing websites and SaaS businesses for accredited investors to invest in. So far, WebsStreet has delivered 11.4% cash returns and is on track for 20%+ IRR.
🔥 How to position yourself to benefit from the Fed’s first rate cut in years, according to financial experts. J-Poww strikes me as a doggy-style kinda guy…
FYI, TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. So, what are you waiting for? Start clicking.
⏪ Yesterday, we were keeping an eye on Palo Alto Networks reporting after the bell.
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Lowe’s, Medtronics, and Xpeng reports before the bell
+ We could get a DOJ decision on the Hawaiian Holdings and Alaska Air deal
Yesterday, I asked, “Do you agree or disagree with this?”
‘Agree’ won bigly (77.2%).
Here’s what some of you guys had to say (and my thoughts in italics)…
Agree: "I might bump it up to $10M but the sentiment holds: egregious massive wealth is just a silly waste due to diminishing returns on happiness above an achievable number like $5M or $10M."
Agree: "Yes BUT it’s never that simple. Many times the people who rise up do so because they’re motivated by other things and money is the byproduct. Easy to say those things when you have them."
Disagree: "Time spent on a super yacht feels inherently more valuable than time spent eating a shake over McDonald’s” I plan to spend time eating at the McDonald’s on my super yacht ‘Richie Rich’ style.
Disagree: "Reminded of the Succession scene where Cousin Greg is asking if a $5MM inheritance is still good and Conor and Tom tell him it's a nightmare and 'you're the world's tallest dwarf'"
Disagree: "Ever heard of f*ck you money? 2-3m ain't it."
Agree: "As I write this in my later years, I think of friends and family who do not make it to my age and this crosses my mind each birthday I celebrate. I feel blessed to experience another day, a sunset, and the enjoyment of observing and sharing in my children’s adulting years. Yes, indeed, time is a true gift with all its complicated emotions, but the gift of time is not replaceable in my world." Is someone cutting onions?
Here’s today’s question…
Did you really think today’s question wouldn’t be about 7-Eleven?
You can get one food item for free from 7-Eleven for the rest of your life. Which is it?
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.