Hey there weekday warrior,
Here’s what’s on tap today… Netflix maintains total dominance over your life, Uber Eats got hungry and went to Germany, and Google can’t keep up with real AI companies.
Now, enjoy the next 3 minutes and 49 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
Big streamin’ d*cks
*Paramount+ (stuck in court) punching drywall rn*
Netflix $NFLX ( ▲ 0.91% ) reported earnings after markets closed yesterday, and clearly America’s Sweethearts kept Ted Sarandos in business for another quarter… (TYFYS, Jerry Jones).
Revenue rang in at $12.56B (spoiler: painfully small miss vs. the $12.59B estimates)…
Still, that’s up 13% YoY thanks to quality content subscription price hikes and more advertising sales on the books.
Meanwhile, bottom-line earnings served up a clean 80 cents per share (1 cent beat) of straight cash, homie.
But it’s Netflix, so…
Now the real stats we care about: Netflix members watched over 97B hours of content in Q1-2 this year, which, holy sh*t.
Sadly, Ted & Co. also announced that it would cut back on its “What We Watched” engagement reports to an annual update. Friendly reminder: we lost quarterly subscriber numbers in 2025 (RIP).
“Dad, what was it like when Netflix disclosed subscriber numbers every single quarter?”
Anyway, NFLX is expecting 12% growth in Q3, with more live events (*Jake Paul has… never mind*), and another $3B in ad revenue…
Markets went all “that don’t impress me much.” Shares dropped off a cliff after hours…
I've been writing TWC since 2017…
The Water Coolest 1.0 crew (colorized) circa 2018
And been helping other brands build must-read newsletters for the past 3 years.
This summer I’m taking on a handful of done-for-you newsletter clients. B2B and finance brands are where we can provide the most value.
You bring the expertise. We handle everything else...
Strategy: We align on your business goals, audience, and editorial direction
Editorial: We learn your voice and turn your expertise into a must-read newsletter every week that drives engagement (and straight cash, homie)
Infrastructure: ESP setup, deliverability, welcome sequences, list hygiene
Reporting: Monthly numbers, plus what to actually do about them
I'm keeping this small on purpose. I want to work closely with every client, which means there are only a few spots available.
If you've been thinking about starting a newsletter or fixing the one you have, hit reply or book a call.
BTW, if you know someone looking for newsletter help, I’d love an intro. If you make an intro that leads to a call, I'll Venmo you $100, and if we land a client because of your intro, I'll send you $1k (yes, seriously).
+ *Immediately orders a pizza delivery from Napoli*
Uber $UBER ( ▲ 1.89% ) woke up and chose violence acquisition. The non-German-but-German-named rideshare company just ordered up the German-but-non-German-named Delivery Hero to go for a cool $14.8B (think: a 26% premium on its offer from May).
Friendly reminder: Temu Uber Eats (read: DoorDash $DASH ( ▼ 2.0% )) bought out UK-based Deliveroo last year, which put pressure on Uber to finally close on DH or get left out of the international food delivery game.
Alphabet $GOOG ( ▼ 4.43% ) stonk got rekt yesterday after Bloomberg snitched reported on delays with Google’s Latest Language Model.
Turns out Gemini 3.5 Pro is months behind schedule (spoiler: bad)…
Oh, and apparently Gemini’s coding abilities suck.
Meanwhile, Meta $META ( ▼ 2.46% ) is out here shipping Muse Spark 1.1, OpenAI dropped GPT-5.6 Sol, and Claude Fable has founder tech bros in a chokehold…
+ Quick inflation check-in…
ICYMI, inflation is fine, probably.
CPI did us all a favor Tuesday with the yugest monthly drop since the year of our Lord 2020. Missionary CPI for June rang in at 3.5% over the last 12 months, which, wayy better than May’s 4.2%.
Month-to-month, inflation dropped 0.4%, landing better than expectations from the h8ters. Oh, and the core variation of CPI creeped back down to 2.6%, which sent odds of a rate hike down bigly.
Then on Wednesday, June PPI posted a 0.3% drop (still 5.5% annual rate tho…). Meanwhile, core PPI rose 0.2%.
We’re in your hands now, J-Woww…
Know a B2B or finance brand that should have a newsletter?
I'm taking on a few done-for-you newsletter clients, and I’m paying for intros. Because, capitalism.
Intro leads to a call? I Venmo you $100.
Intro leads to a client? I send you $1,000.
You don't need to sell anything. Just connect us, and I'll take it from there. Hit reply with a name or make the intro via email ([email protected]).
(And if that brand is you, book a call.)
> Trump suspends teleprompter operator over Kalshi bets allegations, White House says // No one saw this coming continuing to happen constantly.
> Paramount, Warner Bros. bosses fear judge will block $110B deal in coming days: report // Friendly reminder: If Paramount can’t get this done by October, Nepo Davey has to pay an extra 25 cents per share…
> Chip giant TSMC to pour ‘largest’ $100B more into US amid AI-fueled earnings boost // Billions and billions and…
> Iran-US Skirmishes Worsen as Hormuz Shipping Traffic Dwindles // Why? Cause f*ck em, that’s why.
> Lilly Strikes $3.8 Billion Deal for Psychedelic Drugmaker // *Joe Rogan has entered the chat.*
> Truth Social launches service to give Wall Street traders an edge with real-time service // The Bloomberg Terminal we deserve.
> (Wednesday) PayPal shares soar 17% after Stripe, Advent make $53B offer // Perfect timing while the state attorneys have their panties in a bunch about Paramount…
> (Tuesday) OpenAI’s First Device Will Be Movable, Screenless Speaker Built as AI Companion // So, this, but without the screen…
> (Tuesday) Taco Bell probed over possible role in outbreak of ‘explosive diarrhea’ infections across US: report // Here I was assuming that was standard with the meal.
> (Tuesday) Goldman Sachs and JPMorgan Chase are emerging as AI winners // Holy earnings, Batman.
On Tuesday, I asked, “Hypothetical: An estranged relative dies and you inherit everything they own. Turns out, they own a major pro sports team. Which league (and you better tell me which team)?”
69% (nice) of you said, “NFL.” The only real answer.
Here’s what some of you guys had to say (and my response in italics)…
NFL: “Give me the Jags. They’re basically a meme team, so anything over 10 wins is an incredible season and you’d get to do a bunch of crazy shit because it’s north Florida.” YOLO.
Other (write-in): “The Seahawks, then I immediately flip them for $10B… I buy an island (not that kind)… I toast the Tylers from the bow of my yacht (they can’t see me, but I know they feel the love). I’ve named it after the estranged relative (middle name only). I tell myself I’m a good person. I believe me. Life is good.” Cheers, I think…
MLB: “When I think of America, hotdogs, beer and baseball are staples. Cubs would be a fun team to own. Not a huge fan, so I would intentionally run them into the ground while consuming several dogs and beers a day.” You can do that already. Just eat, they’ll do the running into the ground without you.
NBA: “Chicago Bulls so I can dance on Reinsdorf’s grave.” 30 years and it’s still a fresh wound.
NFL: “The NY Jets - I would disband the team to put the fan base out of our misery. 2nd choice - The Indiana Fever cause I love Sophie Cunningham (self imposed bonk!)” Appreciate you saving me the BONK.
Here’s today’s question(s)…
Best Netflix Original ever?
+ US stocks rose Tuesday (S&P 500: +0.4%) after June CPI cooled to 3.5%, then tacked on more Wednesday (S&P 500: +0.4%) on Big Tech strength and a bullish ASML outlook, before tumbling Thursday (S&P 500: -0.5%) as AI jitters and the US-Iran war caught up with the tape. Too much winning.
+ The 10-year yield fell Tuesday and Wednesday on back-to-back soft inflation reports, then climbed Thursday as elevated oil prices entered the chat.
+ Oil climbed about 2% Tuesday to a one-month high after the US reimposed its Iran blockade, edged up again Wednesday, then settled about 1% lower Thursday but stayed near those highs as Iran leaned on the Houthis to threaten the Red Sea route. Yay.
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) has Spain (58%) winning that silly soccer thing. (Polymarket)
Oh, and one more thing…
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