TOGETHER WITH
Hey there weekday warrior,
Walmart sees you when you're sleeping…
Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 28 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
+ US stocks “fell across the board on Tuesday, with the Dow logging its biggest losing streak in 46 years.” (Yahoo! Finance)
+ The 10-year yield was “little changed on Tuesday as investors parsed economic data due ahead of the Federal Reserve’s next interest rate decision” (CNBC)
+ Oil “eased about 1% to a one-week low on Tuesday on demand worries following the release of negative economic news from Germany and China, while investors remained cautious ahead of a U.S. Federal Reserve decision on interest rates.” (Reuters)
+ Bitcoin “rose on Tuesday, extending recent gains and briefly hitting record highs on sustained optimism over the potential for a Strategic Reserve under incoming U.S. President Donald Trump.” (Investing.com)
+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Tesla +3.6% 2) Nvidia -1.2% 3) AMD -1.3%
The market moves you need to know about…
+ Shares of Teva Pharmaceutical and its partner Sanofi popped 26.4% and 6.6%, respectively, on the news that their new drug “duvakitug” achieved positive clinical trial results for inflammatory bowel disease (think: ulcerative colitis and Crohn’s). Teva flexed on pretty much every other IBS drug maker, calling the new drug “potentially best-in-class” based on their results (47.8% clinical remission for patients with ulcerative colitis… nbd).
+ Those who can’t own, rent. Quantum Computing shares rocketed 51.5% on the news that it struck a deal with NASA to rent out some high-end quantum computing time. Quantum’s Dirac-3 entropy quantum optimization machine will be used by NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center to work on “the phase unwrapping problem associated with radar-generated interferometric data”... whatever the f*ck that actually means. But don’t get too excited, there’s a potential wrench in the quantum computing machine, as QUBT still faces the real possibility of getting delisted from Nasdaq for noncompliance.
This Tech Company Grew 32,481%…
No, it’s not Nvidia… it's Mode Mobile, last year's fastest-growing software company according to Deloitte.
Mode’s disruptive $martphone, has already helped consumers earn and save $325M+ through simple, everyday use. That led to 32,481% revenue growth between 2019 and 2022, and presence in 170+ countries. Turning smartphones from an expense into an income stream, Mode is disrupting the $1 trillion smartphone industry, like Uber did with taxis and Airbnb with hotels.
They've just been granted the stock ticker $MODE by the Nasdaq, and you can still invest in their pre-IPO offering at just $0.26/share. Friday is the last day that you can invest and receive your shares this year, don’t miss it!
Big box brother
There’s poor, then there’s ‘I steal from Walmart’…
In case you missed it, retail theft, or shrinkage (which will never not be funny), is a big f*cking deal in the US. You might recall that last year Target said crime would cost the company $500M in profit. Or perhaps you noticed that all your favorite things (Jergens & Kleenex) are behind glass at your local pharmacy?
Walmart has gone all “not up in here”
According to reports, Walmart (+0.5%) is testing employee body cams in stores. And the big box retailer just unlocked a cheat code to grow Walmart+ subs (two words: live stream).
Wally World is running at least one pilot program in Texas.
But it isn't just to regulate any stealing of this property. According to internal documents Walmart wants employees to “record an event if an interaction with a customer is escalating.” The hope is that the cameras will help stop the people of Walmart from acting like the people of Walmart (think: getting violent).
The same document also reminds employees to not wear the devices in the bathroom… or when meeting their plug in the parking lot (seriously, go across the street to Target to do that).
Oh, and as an added bonus, these types of cameras feature “reverse view monitors,” which force the person wearing them to see themselves. Psychology 101 tells us that you’re much less likely to give a Stone Cold Stunner to a disgruntled shopper when your employer has eyes on you.
Walmart pinky promises they aren’t trying to go all big brother, though.
Walmart isn’t alone…
While it’s certainly the largest retailer trialing body cams, others have tried something similar. Like TJ Maxx, which apparently just can’t risk a shoplifter making off with a 2-year-old Hollister shirt with a little rip in it and one sleeve that’s slightly shorter than the other (but you won’t notice until you get home).
+ Happy Honda Days to everyone who celebrates…
Honda (+0.9%) and Nissan (+10.9%) are beginning negotiations to explore a possible merger. After years of being the Brennan Huff to Toyota’s (-0.5%) Derek Huff, both Honda and Nissan are looking to expand their market share domestically and internationally. The deal may even turn into a ménage à trois with Mitsubishi, which makes sense considering that Honda, Nissan, and Mitsubishi combined sold ~4 million vehicles in Q1 and Q2, compared to Toyota’s ~5.2 million sales.
A merger would also allow the current competitors to pool their EV resources and better compete with the EV big swingin’ d*cks (read: Tesla).
+ “Isn’t it ironic? Don’t ya think?” - everyone reading about this move
Salesforce (-1.7%) CEO Marc Benioff announced that the CRM OG is about to hire 2,000 salespeople to sell its artificial intelligence software to clients. You know, the AI that’s intended to replace sales and customer service jobs. The move comes just 2 years after the SaaS king laid off about 7,000 employees, which can’t inspire confidence in the new hires expected to buy into ‘Ohana.’
In February 2025, Salesforce is set to debut its AI customer support “Agentforce” to clients. The software connects potential customers with an AI chatbot. Super original, Marc… what’s next, a Slack plugin? In Salesforce’s own tests, Benioff claims that complicated product questions that need escalating to a human have been cut in half.
+ Football and buying sh*t we don’t need… that’s what America does.
Retail sales grew faster than expected in November (0.7% vs. 0.6%), because would you expect anything else? Auto sales (which don’t exactly feel like “retail,” but ok) and e-comm led the way. Thank you for your service, TikTok Shop… now please see yourself out.
+ Hand up… I’m not sure what a grand jury is, and at this point, I’m too afraid to ask…
Late yesterday, in what is probably the least surprising news of the day, Luigi Mangione, (who was literally caught with the murder weapon) was indicted on murder charges by a grand jury in New York.
He’s being charged with “first-degree murder in furtherance of terrorism and two counts of second-degree murder, plus multiple counts of criminal possession of a weapon, a single count of criminal possession of a weapon in the second degree and possession of a forged New Jersey driver’s license.” Listen, I don’t know sh*t about f*ck, but that feels like double-jeopardy or something…
+ E*Trade Plans Zero-Cost Funds That Only Platform Clients Can Buy. Zero cost funds with a side of upsell…
+ FTC bans hidden junk fees in hotel, event ticket prices. Does this apply to FeedF*nder? Asking for a friend…
🔥 Harvard researchers: The people who are happiest with their careers share this mindset. Spoiler: they like the taste of drugs and alcohol.
FYI, TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. So, what are you waiting for? Start clicking.
⏪ Yesterday, November retail sales data dropped
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ General Mills drops earnings in the morning
+ Micron and Lennar report after the bell
+ We’ll get the FOMC rate decision and a press conference from J-Poww
Yesterday, I asked, “What's the best US holiday?”
Christmas
4th of July
Thanksgiving
No others were even in the discussion.
Here’s what some of you had to say (and my thoughts in italics)…
July 4th: “Americaaaa, fuck yeah!”
Other: "St. Patrick's day. Get to get hammered concerningly early and tell your boys you love them." That reminds me… love you guys.
NYE: "New Years for my only BJ of the year”
Christmas: "Honestly as someone who works from home nothing beats this Thanksgiving to New Year vibe (by vibe I mean not working and drinking myself to death)" Your HR team would like a word...
Other: “Hannukah. Would you rather 1 day of Christmas or 8?”
NYE: "What's better than drinking and kissing scantily clothed strange women!” My wife always gets so angry about that second part.
Memorial Day: "MDW (partially thanks to the OG youtube hype video by Dom Mazetti 20 years ago)" That's a deeeeep cut.
And here’s today’s question…
Here are some ground rules for today’s hypothetical…
EVERYTHING goes away. All money, your house, your family, your job, your phone, your social media accounts. You have to start from scratch.
You can only step back into loved one’s lives once you have built yourself enough money to be exactly where you are right now.
You can not tell anyone else what you know so you can't help them become rich.
You know EVERYTHING that will happen in the financial markets (stocks, crypto, bonds, etc.) for the next 3 years BUT you lose absolutely everything you have immediately. Do you take the deal?
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.