TOGETHER WITH
Hey there weekday warrior,
Do yourself a favor and find someone who looks at you like Trump looks at Elon when he’s sad.
Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 10 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
BFFs
Remember when we used to just throw steel balls at Cybertrucks? Bring me back...
Over the weekend, 4 Tesla $TSLA ( ▲ 1.22% ) Cybertrucks were torched in Seattle... presumably by a gang of blue-haired baristas. Officials, including the Federal variety, are investigating the fires.
Tesla (ok, Elon) has been the target of protests across the country, including vandalism of vehicles. And somehow that’s not even the worst thing to happen to Elon in the past few days. It’s probably not even in the top 5…
Tesla shares lost more than 15% on Monday, erasing nearly $29B of Elon's net worth. Also on Monday, Elon blamed a major Twitter outage on a cyberattack. Oh, and let us not forget that Elon's SpaceX rocket went the way of those Cybertrucks (read: exploded) last week.
You got a friend in me...
So what's the world's richest man to do when he's down on his luck? That's right, get a little help from the most powerful man on Earth.
Donny Politics just pulled the billionaire equivalent of buying essential oils from your friend's multi-level marketing scheme to support their "entrepreneurial journey."
POTUS said, “In any event, I’m going to buy a brand new Tesla tomorrow morning as a show of confidence and support for Elon Musk, a truly great American."
Shares of the carmaker ended the day up nearly 4% in a volatile session.
And I don't care what side of the aisle you're on, I hope you find yourself a friend who looks at you like Donald Trump looks at Elon…
This smart home company grew 200% year-over-year…
No, it’s not Ring or Nest—it’s RYSE, a leader in smart shade automation, and you can invest for just $1.90 per share.
RYSE’s innovative SmartShades have already transformed how people control their window coverings, bringing automation to homes without the need for expensive replacements. With 10 fully granted patents and a game-changing Amazon court judgment protecting their tech, RYSE is building a moat in a market projected to grow 23% annually.
This year alone, RYSE has seen revenue grow by 200% year over year and expanded into 127 Best Buy stores, with international markets on the horizon. Plus, with partnerships with major retailers like Home Depot and Lowe’s already in the works, they’re just getting started.
Now is your chance to invest in the company disrupting home automation—before they hit their next phase of explosive growth. But don’t wait; this opportunity won’t last long.
+ “Sike!” Just a few hours after POTUS threatened to double tariffs on Canadian steel and aluminum to 50% (from 25%), trade advisor Peter Navarro pumped the brakes. He said the tariffs won’t be doubled after all, thanks to some last-minute deal-making. But for those of you keeping score at home, the 25% tariffs did go into effect at midnight.
The sudden change of heart by the administration comes after Ontario Premier Doug Ford (yes, Rob’s much less fun brother) said he wouldn’t hit electricity exports to the US with a 25% tariff. Friendly reminder: Ford’s tariff was supposed to be retaliation for the original 25% steel and aluminum tariffs…
+ There ain’t no such thing as a free checked bag…
Activist investor Elliott Management is pushing Southwest $LUV ( ▼ 0.95% ) to finally start making some cash (which, fair). Southwest will end its “Bags Fly Free” policy and implement basic economy seating (think: no cancellations, no refunds, no legroom… no dignity).
Delta’s little brother is looking to pull in an estimated $1-1.5B from bag fees alone. Which is probably why shares popped on the news.
Friendly reminder that Elliot tried and failed to oust CEO Bob Jordan last year, who has previously cited SW’s free bag policy as the top reason customers chose to fly with the airline (… which needs a new tagline).
+ Things you shouldn’t say about Jeffrey Epstein for $200, Alex: “If I was aware of his monstrous activities, I would not have maintained a relationship, and I was not aware.”
Ex-CEO of Barclays $BCS ( ▼ 0.07% ) Jes Staley told a London court that he was “shocked and surprised” by Jeff’s 2019 arrest, despite Epstein’s previous conviction and arrest for soliciting a minor for prostitution… and a bunch of weird red flag emails about their friendship being strong like the Greek army. He also claimed that the king of p*do-island was “well-connected within the upper levels of JPMorgan $JPM ( ▲ 0.16% ).” Your move, Jamie Dimon…
+ January’s JOLTS report just gave the Fed the only good news it’s had in a while (spoiler: it wasn’t even that good). Job openings jumped to 7.7M for the month, beating expectations of 7.6M. That’s 232k higher than in December.
+ Good news for anyone who wears adult diapers and yells at kids to get off their lawn. Lyft $LYFT ( ▲ 0.03% ) is launching “Lyft Silver” to make it easier for the geriatric set to book rides to dinner at like 4 PM.
+ You cannot make this sh*t up. McDonald’s $MCD ( ▼ 0.03% ) is naming Jill McDonald (no relation to Ronald), who currently heads up its international division, as the chain’s first chief restaurant experience officer. Her goal? Get new burgers to market (preferably without E. Coli) ASAP.
FYI, TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. So, what are you waiting for? Start clicking.
+ US stocks “bounced off of their session lows late Tuesday, but still closed in the red after a day of whiplash from President Trump on tariffs.” (Yahoo! Finance)
+ The 10-year yield “rose on Tuesday as investors awaited the latest reading on the consumer price index report.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “prices settled slightly higher on Tuesday, helped by weakness in the dollar, but gains were capped by mounting fears of a U.S. economic slowdown and the impact of tariffs on global economic growth.” (Reuters)
+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Visa -2.7% 2) Nvidia +1.6% 3) Hims & Hers Health +0.7%
⏪ Yesterday…
+ Dick’s Sporting Goods, Kohl’s, and Ciena dropped earnings in the AM
+ Casey’s reported after hours
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Adobe, UiPath, SentinelOne, and Crown Castle report after the bell
+ Cloudflare holds its Investor Day and Starbucks hosts its annual meeting
+ The Consumer Price Index report for February drops
Yesterday, I asked, “Everyone on Earth gets to anonymously gift $10,000 to one other person on Earth (no strings attached). How much do you think you end up with?”
$0 won with 43.9% of the vote. The best part was that everyone who said $0 was either super cocky (“I am too successful for anyone to think of me”) or too pathetic (“No one loves me”).
Here’s what some of you guys had to say…
$0: “I'm an old white dude. Even with a limp, no one's giving me shit.”
$10,000: “Hopefully my wife picks me and not her boyfriend. ”
$20,000: “Thanks Mom & Dad! ”
$50,000-$100,000: “The kids will give me their monies because they know I will give it right back.”
$1,000,000+: “Nothing like strongarming your employees into sending it to me”
And here’s today’s question…
Turns out Girl Scout cookies might be full of some really gnarly stuff. So…
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.