ESPN is putting the ‘leader’ in Worldwide Leader, Tim Apple visits DC, and McDonald’s is so back.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 39 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

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Bah gawd, that’s ESPN’s music…

ESPN is coming in hotter than Vince McMahon on the Merritt Parkway (it’s ok to joke about because no one got hurt)…

The WWE (aka TKO $TKO ( ▼ 1.88% )) and ESPN (aka Disney $DIS ( ▲ 1.18% )) announced a 5-year media deal worth $1.6B during Disney’s earnings call yesterday. The Worldwide Leader will get exclusive rights to most of WWE’s marquee events (think: WrestleMania)… except RAW, which will air on Netflix for the next decade. And imagine if I told you during the Attitude Era that the WWE would be on a Disney-owned network one day…

In case you were wondering, the deal includes streaming rights, which Shannon Sharpe’s former employer will steal from Peacock. Probably just a coincidence that ESPN is launching its streaming app (that is literally called ESPN… which is going to be a nightmare for anyone over the age of 55) later this month.

Speaking of streaming content…

ESPN and the NFL made a blood pact that’s about to change the game (literally). The tie-up we mentioned earlier this week just became official (pending regulatory review).

The league will take a 10% stake in the sports network that blessed us with this commercial, in return for the NFL Network, a handful of games each season, and RedZone. Among football fans, the move has been received about as well as Colin Kaepernick getting an NFL tryout…

Meanwhile, at the mothership…

So why is Disney letting ESPN spend like Preston Waters committing check fraud (only the real ones will get that reference)?

Despite a slight top-line miss, the company’s parks and streaming biz are printing money. It appears the Disney adult is immune to economic headwinds. DIS hiked its earnings guidance for the second time this year (… no thanks to its movie division).

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+ Imagine having the chance to walk into the Oval Office with a Publisher’s Clearing House-sized check… and not taking it…

Tim Apple $AAPL ( ▼ 0.25% ) flew to DC to make a yuge announcement alongside POTUS (not on the roof). He was there to pat himself on the back for committing to another $100B of investment in America via the newly minted “American Manufacturing Program.” And maybe he should be spending some of that on making AI that doesn’t suck. Amirite, AAPL investors?

In a move that seems fitting for an Apple event, POTUS went all “one more thing…”

During the event, the President made comments that he plans to announce 100% tariffs on semiconductors coming into the US. Of course, there is one way to secure an exemption: bring manufacturing back to the US… like Apple.

+ “I want you to put the word out there that we back up…” - Stringer Bell and Ronald McDonald

After four straight quarters of global same-store sales declines at McDonald’s $MCD ( ▼ 0.03% ), the train is back on the tracks… and all you other fast food joints have been warned.

Shares popped on news that Burger-King-for-people-with-self-respect had beaten on the top and bottom lines, thanks largely to the success of the Minecraft Happy Meal and Crispy Chicken Strips, all while doubling down on value (what a novel concept). Friendly reminder: the Snack Wrap didn’t even make its triumphant return until after the end of the quarter (I told you it was over for the competition…).

But CEO Chris Kempczinski still tried to temper expectations/poor shame his less affluent customers. The Golden Arches still has concerns about the health of low-income consumers.

+ “$1, Bob!”

In a move that, ironically enough, would put a smile on the face of the former head of DOGE (sup, Elon), OpenAI is offering ChatGPT Enterprise to federal agencies for just a buck. This is an obvious play to score market share, and is 0% surprising.

+ Turns out Switzerland isn’t the only country getting bent over and shown the 50 states…

The White House just slapped an additional 25% tariff on India, bringing its total to 50%. POTUS is big mad that India has made a deal with the devil (if you’re reading this, Vladimir Putin, please don’t kill my entire bloodline). According to the Trump administration, India has been buying sanctioned oil from Russia.

India will have 21 days to get its act together before the additional taxes kick in.

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+ US stocks “pushed higher on Wednesday amid another batch of corporate earnings and as President Trump's new deadline to impose tariffs loomed.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year yield “rose following a less-than-stellar $42 billion auction of new securities by the Treasury Department.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “prices slid about 1% to an eight-week low on Wednesday after U.S. President Donald Trump’s remarks about progress in talks with Moscow created uncertainty on whether the U.S. would impose new sanctions on Russia.” (Reuters)

+ The “smart” money thinks there’s a 22% Zelenskyy meets with Putin before January. (Kalshi)

⏪ Yesterday…

+ Uber, Shopify, Disney, McDonald's, Oscar, Unity, Wix, NRG Energy, Novavax, and Emerson Electric reported before the open

+ IONQ, Applovin, Airbnb, Realty Income Corp, e.l.f. Beauty, Duolingo, DraftKings, Occidental Petroleum, DoorDash, Fortinet, Lyft, Joby, Symbotic, Dutch Bros, HubSpot, Honest Company, Energy Transfer, Redwire, Paycom, Zillow, Procept, Root, Sunrun, and Blue Bird reported after the bell

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ Eli Lilly, Celsius, D-Wave Quantum, Datadog, Vistra, Constellation Energy, Intuitive Machines, Crocs, Warner Brothers, Brookfield, Peloton, Hut 8 Corp, ConocoPhillips, Hertz, SharkNinja, Jumia, Yeti, Talen Energy, Cheniere Energy, Aspen Aerogels, SolarEdge, and Papa John's report before the bell

+ Rocket Lab, SoundHound, Trade Desk, Block, Nuscale, Pinterest, Twilio, Take-Two, Serve Robotics, Atlassian, CleanSpark, Monster, Kratos, MP Materials, Maplebear, Gilead, Texas Roadhouse, Main Street, Dropbox, Wynn Resorts, StoneCo, Microchip, Sezzle, Sweetgreen, Indie, GigaCloud, Motorola, Doximity, Godaddy, and Abcellera report after the bell

+ Tariffs become payable

+ The Bank of England will give its interest rate decision and insights on broader monetary policy

Yesterday, I asked, “What's the most you're paying to be able to stream your favorite song of all time whenever you want?”

45.1% of you said “$1-$25.”

Here’s what some of you guys had to say…

Here’s today’s question…

McDonald’s is launching an Adult Happy Meal, and they’re gonna make me go long Novo Nordisk, aren’t they?

Ok, last one (promise)…

Oh, and one more thing…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.