TOGETHER WITH
Hey there weekday warrior,
Here’s what’s on tap today… Anthropic has stolen Sam A.'s thunder (again), Google is once again asking for your financial support, and McDonald’s is about to reinvent itself by copying everyone else.
Enjoy the next 3 minutes and 39 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
PS… thanks in advance for doing your part in helping keep TWC like the Fed (free and independent) by clicking on and checking out our advertising partners daily.
All eyez on me
Dario Amodei: “This won’t change me.”
Also him after announcing the IPO:
Yesterday, Anthropic once again took the wind right out of @sama’s sails by confidentially filing for an IPO.
And on the very first day of Pride Month, no less… sorry, Sam.
Yep, it looks like Dario musta fired up Opus 4.8 on Max Effort mode (iykyk) and told it to make no mistakes filing the S-1 ASAP.
“Ah shit, here we go [watching Anthropic dominate the news cycle] again.”
For those keeping score at home (read: all of us), that puts Claude ahead of OpenAI in the race to bubble-burst IPO… by literal days, which, maybe Elon’s weeks of harassing SammyGPT in a court of law are paying off for Dario and Co…
Friendly reminder: on Thursday, Anthropic made ChatGPT its b*tch after raising $65B at a $965B valuation.
And the cucking continues hits just keep on coming…
No share price/amounts have been set yet, but no chance this thing debuts under a $1T market cap.
Oh, and in case you’re wondering why Dario’s rushing (besides the masculine urge to destroy Sam’s life)…
Yesterday, everyone’s favorite failed Presidential candidate and amateur socialist Bernie Sanders was once again asking for the government’s financial support to buy AI. Okay, boomer. The only Clinton enemy that hasn’t died under suspicious circumstances straight up advocated for Uncle Sam to go 50/50 with the big AI players (lol).
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+ Sundar Pichai: *dials 877-CASH-NOW*
Google $GOOG ( ▼ 1.02% ) is planning to raise straight cash, homie, via a massive stonk sale. $80B to be exact.
Per the tech giant that took Google+ from us, the fat stack of internet money will be used to “fund investments in its world-class AI compute infrastructure to meet its unprecedented customer demand.” Checks out given that the maker of Gemini recently revised its AI capex spend up to between $180BB and $190B.
Who is going to pony up $80B? Berkshire is first in line. Greg Abel said he’s good for $10B. The remaining $70B will be sold off to banks to flip the shares ($30B) and directly to the market ($40B).
Shares only fell about 1% after hours (spoiler: dilution usually pisses off investors).
+ Obi Huang Kenobi and R2-B2C
Nvidia $NVDA ( ▲ 6.26% ) didn’t hear no bell. Yesterday, Jenny from the Block used his Taiwan Computex conference keynote to reveal a new personal computer processor team-up between NVDA and Microsoft $MSFT ( ▲ 2.28% ).
The new RTX Spark superchip, aka the N1X, will drop in the fall in a yuge lineup of new Windows PCs, which are about to make your Mac look like a public library IBM.
Per Jensen, “Microsoft and Nvidia are going to reinvent the PC. This is the first completely reengineered, reinvented line of PCs that has happened in 40 years.”
*John Ternus cold sweats*
+ Iran: “We’re done.”
Donny Diplomacy:
Yesterday, Iran busted out the Uno Reverse card. Iranian negotiators said they’d stop communicating with the US, and the big brains (that remain) in Tehran will completely close the Strait of Hormuz… until Israel stops FAFO’ing in Lebanon.
So, #47 did pretty much what you’d expect. Per Donny Cool, “I really don’t care. I couldn’t care less” and “If they’re over, they’re over... frankly, I thought they started to get very boring.”
Same, Donny, same.
+ McChickensh*t
Yesterday, the Golden Arches unveiled its latest strategy at its franchisee convention, and it looks like Mickey D’s is trying to take a big(ger) bite of the fast-food market…
CEO Chris Kempczinski, yeah, that ^ guy, said McDonald’s $MCD ( ▼ 1.11% ) needs to make the competition wish it didn’t buy a DQ Grill and Chill. Per Nibbles McGee, “Traditional competitors are upgrading their menus, and a new wave of specialists are emerging and redefining taste and quality across chicken, beef, and beverages.”
The plan? Redesign the restaurants, improve the food and drinks, and enhance customer service. Way to think outside the bun, guys…
Oh, and yes, AI was mentioned, because duh. McDonny’s will be testing automated order taking on its ARCHY system in the US…
Can only imagine how America’s Most Diabetic will take hearing “The McFlurry machine is broken” from a robot…
> SpaceX sets aside up to 5% of shares in IPO for certain employees and friends // Asking for a friend… how does one become a “friend”? I didn’t mean to call him Phony Stark that many times…
> Florida AG sues OpenAI, seeks to hold CEO Altman personally liable for alleged harms // Cue: “AI doesn’t kill people, people kill people.” Or, “the only thing that can beat a bad guy with an AI is a good guy with an AI.”
> (Sunday) Berkshire Hathaway to Buy Taylor Morrison for $6.8 Billion // Greggy’s first shopping trip…
> (Friday) Peter Thiel moves family to Argentina to flee high taxes — and potential nuclear war, AI meltdown // When bro has read “Atlas Shrugged” one too many times…
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On Friday, I asked, “What is the GOATed department store for those of us firmly raised in the middle class?”
22.9% of you said, “JCPenney.” And once again, this one was razor thin.
Here’s what some of you guys had to say (and my response in italics)…
JCPenney: “I spent hours reading the catalog on the crapper - good times.” BONK, we all know what pages you were looking at.
Belk: “Was impressed you had this on here. Literally my entire wardrobe came from Belk from age 0 to 16 — like any respectable 90s North Carolinian.” I aim to impress.
Kohl’s: “I grew up on kohls cash. Planning to drop the kohls cash token in 4Q through a strategic partnership with SBF.” Shut up and take my money.
Kohl’s: “But mall adjacent SEARS was a big deal as well. Long live the OG's.” Many others were also mourning Sears in the responses.
Nordstrom: “Would appear your readership is more low middle class. Upper middle class was Nordys only. We made fun of the kids shopping at Pennys and Macys.” Shouldn’t you be reading the Economist?
Here’s today’s question(s)…
Sounds like big changes are on the way for McDonald's. But what I need to know is: Who's got the best chicken sandwich in the game right now?
+ US stocks hit record highs on Friday (S&P 500: +0.2%) and kept it up Monday despite tense Iran news (S&P 500: +0.3%). Because when Jensen speaks, money printer goes brrr.
🔴 Strategy shares fall after selling $2.5 million in bitcoin, its first sale since 2022 // Michael “Paper Hands” Saylor.
🟢 HPE skyrockets 30% on biggest earnings beat since 2018 // HPE really saw Dell and said: “hold my beer.”
🔴 (Friday) SentinelOne stock drops 8% as cyber firm trims headcount to boost AI investments // Rebounded yesterday, though, because f*ck them kids (the children of laid-off employees).
+ The 10-year yield eased on Friday as ceasefire progress but edged higher Monday as Middle East tensions did what they usually do (read: got worse).
+ Oil prices fell on Friday with ceasefire extension news, then jumped on Monday with more military attacks and ceasefire tensions flaring like herpes at the Bunny Ranch.
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks France and Spain have tied odds (17%) to win the World Cup. (Polymarket)
Oh, and one more thing…
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