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Hey there weekday warriors,
Here’s what’s on tap today… Jensen Huang simply does not miss, Europe won’t do the US a solid, and Peloton becomes the very thing it swore to destroy.
Enjoy the next 3 minutes and 31 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
A trilli
Giphy
Steve Jobs’ keynotes walked so that Jensen Huang’s keynotes could run…
Jensen Bourne just put on a masterclass in swagging out… to the tune of $1T…
In case you aren’t a nerd (read: don’t attend technology conferences), Jensen from the Block just went full Eras tour and packed an 18k-person stadium to humblebrag about the future of Nvidia $NVDA ( ▲ 1.65% ).
The annual GTC conference (think: Nvidia’s yuge global AI conference) kicked off yesterday, and, obviously, the t*tty-signing rockstar himself kicked things off.
Denny’s most valuable ex-employee predicted purchase orders for Blackwell and Vera Rubin chips to hit cuatro comas (translation: $1T) through 2027.
Friendly reminder: last year, NVDA projected $500B in revenue for the 2 chips. So this is more, because… math.
But it wasn’t all GPUs… CPUs are having a moment, too
Nvidia is unveiling new products at GTC, including new CPU chips, presumably to decimate compete with Intel $INTC ( ▼ 0.02% ) and AMD $AMD ( ▲ 1.65% )…
ICYMI, B of A $BAC ( ▲ 0.73% ) predicted the CPU market could more than double to $60B by the year 2030…
NVDA shares (obviously) jumped yesterday after Jenny’s bullish keynote. Because Nvidia only goes up.
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+ Europe is playing hard to get…
You see, POTUS is assembling a team (or at least trying to) of naval vessels to escort tankers through the Strait of Hormuz. He’s been asking for help from US allies like the UK, France, and Germany. And, well, their reaction has been mixed according to POTUS: “Some are very enthusiastic, and some are less than enthusiastic.”
It appears that the UK will send some aircraft carriers… reluctantly. And France has straight-up refused. No shocker there.
So, is anyone still shipping oil through the Strait? Funny you should ask…
Yesterday, Scott Bessent dropped a bomb the news that the US is allowing Iranian oil tankers to run a train through the Strait of Hormuz. Iran is reportedly still exporting around 1.5M barrels of oil daily, which SecTreas says, “We’re fine with.”
+ “You either die a D2C brand or you live long enough to see yourself pivot to B2B sales…”
Peloton $PTON ( ▲ 4.31% ) just dropped a new line of commercial bikes and treadmills for “real” gyms. Which, I guess PTON is just done trying to save us from Planet Fitness now?
In case you’re curious, the “Commercial Series” machines will be equipped with Peloton’s digital classes and built for heavy daily use. Friendly reminder that Peloton’s last quarter showed commercial sales up 10% even with a companywide sales drop of 3% overall…
We really are soooo close to this future, aren’t we?
+ Everyone: *Abandons software for AI*
Tim Cook: *buys more software*
Apple $AAPL ( ▲ 1.08% ) is really out here thinking differently from everyone. Instead of building a useful LLM, Siri wants to dethrone Adobe $ADBE ( ▲ 1.02% ) Premiere.
Wait, what?
Tim Apple just went out and bought video editing company MotionVFX, which is essentially a plugin suite that works with Final Cut Pro. No deal terms made public yet. Friendly reminder that Apple’s Creator Studio now bundles into a $12.99/mo subscription, until it’s fully obliterated by AI within the year, that is…
You’re dumb (yes, you)
Don't worry, I am too. We all make dumb money moves. Every damn day.
We’ll spend countless hours researching a new investment, but we'll overpay for insurance or home improvements.
See where you're leaving money on the table.
> The dictionary sues OpenAI (TechCrunch) // Frivolous (adjective): having no sound basis (as in fact or law). E.g., a frivolous lawsuit.
> Atlassian Says It Had Right to Fire Engineer for Suggesting CEO Is ‘Rich Jerk’ (Bloomberg) // Tough look for a company that promotes an “Open Company, No Bullshit” philosophy.
> SEC Prepares Proposal to Eliminate Quarterly Reporting Requirement (WSJ) // Wait, so we’d only get Nvidia earnings twice per year?
> But where can we bet on who will be #1 at the end of 2026?
Yesterday, I asked, “Have you driven in a self-driving car, and what did you think?”
49.2% of you said, “No, and I have no desire.” Where’s your sense of adventure?
Here’s what some of you guys had to say (and my response in italics)…
No, and I have no desire: “Of all of the things that I don't care about this is near the top of my list.” What else is on the list?
No, but I want to: “It's hard to imagine Waymo or any of the other self driving services are more dangerous than human drivers who spend time arguing with passengers, dealing with texts and fidgeting with the radio." Never had a ride-share driver who WASN’T on their phone.
Yes, and it’s the only way to ride-share: “Pro Tip: It’ll allow a series of 3 destinations per trip, so do a mini tour of San Francisco while you’re at it. Also: Video selfies with the empty driver’s seat shout ‘Waymo virgin.’" Unemployed activities.
No, and I have no desire: “I don't even want to ride in a car when my wife drives, let alone a driverless car." This guy wifes.
Yes, and it was terrifying: “Took me through sketchiest parts of Phoenix. There is no ‘probably shouldn’t be in this neighborhood, bro’ designation.” Great point.
Here’s today’s question(s)…
Would you ever be seen working out on a Peloton bike?
+ US stocks “ended sharply higher on Monday, fueled by gains in AI-related stocks, with Meta Platforms climbing after a report that it is preparing for sweeping layoffs, while oil prices retreated amid ongoing uncertainty about the Middle East conflict.” (Reuters)
+ The 10-year yield “dropped to start the week as investors tracked lower global crude oil prices — dimming the outlook for faster inflation, for now — amid the continued U.S.-Iran war, and looked ahead to the Federal Reserve’s two-day policy meeting this week.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “slid about 3% on Monday after some vessels sailed through the critical Strait of Hormuz, even as U.S. allies rebuffed President Donald Trump’s call for help in unblocking the strait, and as the head of the IEA suggested more reserves could be released to stem the rising costs caused by the Iran war.” (Reuters)
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s a 31% chance that the US locks in “recession” status this year. (Polymarket)
⏪ Yesterday…
+ Dollar Tree reported before the opening bell
+ Microvast and Semtech reported after hours
+ NVIDIA’s GTC event got underway in San Jose
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Medical Properties Trust and Tencent Music report before the bell
+ Oklo, Lululemon, DocuSign, and Clearpoint Neuro report after the bell
Oh, and one more thing…
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Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.
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