TOGETHER WITH
Hey there weekday warrior. Here’s what’s on tap today… Nvidia went on a Christmas shopping spree, Netflix tried to ruin football, and Jim Beam is struggling to create a new generation of alcoholics.
Enjoy the next 3 minutes and 32 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
A Christmas acquisition
This is why you’re poor.
While you were “taking it easy” on your Christmas break, overeating and day drinking, the t*tty signing, leather-clad jacket AI-god himself Jensen Huang was inking Nvidia’s $NVDA ( ▲ 1.02% ) largest deal ever. Money never sleeps, pal.
On Christmas Eve, Santa Huang bought out chip designer Groq (with a Q, not a K) for $20B cold, hard cash… kinda.
Technically, Groq called the deal a “non-exclusive licensing agreement,” which will let Groq continue as an “independent company”… and help avoid regulatory scrutiny.
But its founder/CEO, president, and other senior leaders will be joining Nvidia’s team, so… tell me you got acquired without telling me.
Nvidia will “license” all of Groq’s assets, except its cloud business, “GroqCloud” because the cloud is so 2024.
Groq’s investors are walking away with a serious bag. Friendly reminder that Groq raised $750M at a $6.9B valuation just three short months ago.
But there isn’t a bubble.
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+ The mashup we deserve, but not the one anyone wanted right now…
In case you come from one of those families that plays weird TikTok games on Christmas instead of watching football… Netflix $NFLX ( ▲ 0.89% ) streamed 2/3 of the Christmas Day NFL games this year, and it went about as well as the Jake Paul-Anthony Joshua fight.
Viewers complained about broadcast technical issues, awkward mid-game remote interviews with former athletes, and cringe AF marketing mashups for Netflix to promote Stranger Things and the WWE. Hang on, David Ellison might have a point… do we really want these guys owning The Sopranos?
+ Look what you did, you little jerks…
Jim Beam is days away from pausing production at its main Kentucky distillery. On January 1, James B. Beam Distilling Co. will stop making cheap whiskey. You see, JB is sitting on 16.1M barrels of aging bourbon. That’s an all-time high… and I mean that in the worst way possible.
Also, TIL: distillers have to pay taxes for aging barrels… and those taxes are up 27% from 2024.
Friendly reminder that Jim Beam and other spirit makers have been suffering since the US/Canada trade war led Canada to ban American spirits from stores back in March. This NYE, let’s agree to drown our sorrows like Lt. Dan with American alcohol.
+ Don’t blow it this time…
Novo Nordisk $NVO ( ▼ 0.3% ) just got a 2nd chance at first-mover advantage…
On Tuesday, Novo shares got a boost just before the holiday as the FDA approved its GLP-1 pill. Which is apparently the perfect solution for the needle-shy obese…
Oral Wegovy aka “Wegovy-in-a-pill” will be available for as low as $149/mo in early January. Still, Eli Lilly $LLY ( ▲ 0.07% ) is hot on Novo’s heels with its drug “orforglipron” already submitted for FDA approval. It’s also gonna need a wayyy better name…
> Waymo rolls out software update after blackout stranded robotaxis across San Francisco (NY Post) // To be clear… was the original software designed to just stop in the middle of busy streets when stoplights weren’t working?
> An Ounce of Silver Is Now Worth More Than a Barrel of Oil (WSJ) // Crypto bros been real quiet lately…
> Consumers Power Strongest U.S. Economic Growth in Two Years (WSJ) // What recession?
> What I see: Copilot losing market share…
+ US stocks “closed slightly lower as investors returned from the Christmas holiday.” (Yahoo! Finance)
+ Oil “settled more than 2% lower on Friday as investors weighed a looming global supply glut, while also keeping an eye on a potential Ukraine peace deal ahead of talks this weekend between Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskiy and U.S. President Donald Trump.” (Reuters)
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks all this trending Minnesota fraud only has a 30% chance of leading to a politician being charged by March 31. (Polymarket)
⏪ On Friday…
+ Markets in the UK, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and South Africa were closed for Boxing Day
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ The November Pending Home Sales report drops
+ The Dallas Fed Manufacturing Survey will be released
Last week, I asked, “What is the GOATed Christmas movie? Think: Choose one to watch for the rest of time, the rest are deleted...”
33.5% of you said, “National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.”
Here’s what some of you guys had to say…
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation: “White Christmas is the Old GOAT, Christmas Vacation is the modern GOAT.”
Home Alone: “As a parent, it's Home Alone. It still holds up after the 100th viewing. ”
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation: “It taught me everything I know about exterior illumination!”
Other: “By this point in the season I'm ready for you to just delete them all. Please make it stop.”
The Grinch: “Which one? The Grinch is the only one here that has been made multiple times and each one is good.”
Here’s today’s question…
What is the ideal NYE plan?
- A huge party with friends. Stay up till midnight. Get hammered.
- A small party with close friends/family. Board games and cocktails. No obligation to wait for midnight to head back home.
- Stay home with the family. Tell the kids it's New Years at 9pm and go to sleep.
- Completely ignore the holiday and live your normal life. It's literally made up.
- Other (write-in)
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.